Is It Time to Move On?

Dear Affirmations Doctor:

I met this man, Ken over the Internet. We met in person and we both felt there was a huge bond and mutual attraction. I moved to Florida to be with him. Everything was going great—at first. He told me he loved me every morning before he left for work.

After five months Ken completely changed, he became argumentative, withdrawn and he started screaming at me for absolutely no reason. I could never please him. I was devastated and in all my 34 years never did I ever experience such disrespect from another human being.

Four months ago I came back to Vancouver, as my dad was ill. He recovered and I was making plans to go back to Florida to be with Ken. I had been sending Ken money to save for our living expenses, etc. when I returned. Ken is a successful stockbroker, but he is always short of funds.

Last week when I called Ken to make plans to return—I suggested that he might consider transferring to one of his branch offices in Washington State so he would be closer to Vancouver. He said, "I would never move for you. I don’t love you and never did!" I was so shocked and I felt as I had been shot through the heart and I begged to die to stop the pain I was experiencing in my whole body, but I didn’t die—I am still here and very much alive. I never expected him to be so cruel. I thought we were working things out. We had been going to counseling, talking and sharing. I still love him and I think about him all the time, morning, noon and night. Is there hope for me? What should I do? Lisa

Dear Lisa,
Please accept my condolences for a relationship that withered and died. There are many things that cause a relationship or marriage to fail and usually there are three sides to every story. His side, your side and the real side.

I always counsel people to try everything they possibly can to make their relationships / marriages work—and if that does not work, and there is no chance of reconciliation—it is dead—for goodness sake bury the corpse--get a separation or divorce, change your thoughts, ideas and beliefs and then get on with your life! I would safely say that in Ken’s eyes the relationship is over. Please do not attempt to bring it back to life.

This never really works, as it is not to everyone’s good. Everything we do must be to the good of good of all parties concerned and Ken has to want the relationship too. Do the Cup Emptying Exercise described in my book, Affirmations Your Passport to Happiness.

Fill a cup with water. Hold it in your hands and visualize all the feelings of negative hurt, unhappiness and betrayal dripping into the water from your eyes, ears, nose and mouth. When you feel it is complete, take the cup to the sink and dump the water down the sink, asking yourself if you can ever get that water back. Of course you cannot, once it has gone down the sink, it is gone forever and together with it, in the water, are your unhappy, negative thoughts, pain and hurt.

Do this procedure for a period of 21 days. After you have dumped the water down the sink, say to yourself over and over, "Healed heart."

It is important to do this exercise for total of 21 days as it takes 21 days to create a habit.
Take a calendar and mark off each day. If you forget to do it one day, start the process all over again.

This is a simple, powerful technique that really works. It works if you work it!

It is time to stop thinking and dreaming about a person who does not love, honor or respect you--and it is time to really start honoring, respecting and approving of yourself!

Now do the Extended Toothbrush Exercise. Get up in the morning and just after you have brushed your teeth, look into the mirror and say, "Hey Lisa you are a mighty fine person. I now forgive everyone and everything that has ever hurt me. I now forgive myself and I love, respect and approve of myself just the way I am.”

If too many negative memories surface at the same time, simply say, "One memory at a time please."

After a period of time when the healing is complete, you may wish to do an affirmation to attract that perfect man into your life.

Affirmation for Attracting Love:

“I, Lisa deserve and now have a loving, lasting, happy, respectful, committed relationship with the perfect man for me. He is ___________ Describe him- approx. height, etc.

You can also say what you like to do together and that he is kind and loving to your family as you are kind and loving to his family.

He is unattached, financially independent and he loves, respects and adores me as I love, respect and adore him. We are happy to the good of all parties concerned. Thank you thank you, thank you.”

I fully accept ____________
Signed Dated ____________

When you date and sign this, you have made a firm and binding contract with Your Higher Self, God, Universal Mind or whomever you believe in.

As soon as you begin doing this affirmation you already have this wonderful relationship, it just has not appeared in your life as yet.

Happy Affirming
Anne Marie Evers
The Affirmations doctor

Author of Affirmations Your Passport to Happiness and co-author of The #1 Best Selling Series - Wake Up Live The Life You Love in Spirit- Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Terry-Cole-Whittaker